Friday Funnies...



Kids are quick


If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers :

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term ' Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.



Kids Are Quick

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: ! Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.



TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.


TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence star ting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.


TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.



Don't count the years-count the memories…
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away!




My Refrigerator Funnies, LOL
(click on the image to view it at full size)
Photobucket

11 comments:

  1. Oh those were cute and I love your fridge funnies! I need to do that too, since I seem to look at it A LOT! LOL.
    Happy Friday to you my friend.
    Kim

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  2. I always find kids' explanations and comments so funny. Thank you for sharing.

    You have a beautiful blog, and a very beautiful family. I loved reading around.

    Bless you!

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  3. Hahaha, kids come up with some funny stuff!

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  4. LOL I was cracking up reading these. Thanks for the chuckle!

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  5. Too cute! :D

    Have a great weekend!
    Sherry

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  6. The four seasons is my type of dry humor-wha-whah-wha-whaaaaahhhh! Amanda:)

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  7. This is wonderful...I love it! Kids definitely do say the darndest things!

    Stopping by from The June Comment Challenge!

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  8. Too funny!

    Stacie
    http://www.thedivinemissmommy.com

    P.S. I am over visiting and checking out your blog from Harriet's 1000 Comment Challenge

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  9. Those are hilarious! I always love reading these types of things!

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  10. I love fridge magnets and the funny ones are great for those kitchen blues!

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Thank you so much for your beautiful comments!!!